torsdag 1. september 2016

About my absence, lost mojo and a first share..

Hello lovelies.. It's been a long time.. over a month since I posted anything. I've been struggeling.. loads.. with myself, my creativity.. not feeling like doing anything. Not finding the pleasure in hinding out in my scrapbook room like I used too. My scrapbooking is my sancturary. A place to hid from the stuff going on around me.. and there's loads of stuff going on. I have a.. let's say a difficult family life. I don't keep it a secret because I think that knowlegde gives you more understanding of how things are. My oldest son as ADHD and Aspergers, witch again leads to the difficult family life. Just dealing with the everyday things has been hard lately.

My creativity left me 1,5month ago.. a long with my self-confidence about the projects I make. They say that You are the worst critics to yourself. Believe me.. I truly am the worst critic. I take everything very personally when I do something. Like when I'm out taking photos. I can blame myself for the rain - if it rains. I know it's not my fault.. but I just do.. and then I don't sleep for days because I'm not happy with the things I made or the photos I took. So I stopped making stuff.. I wanted to make things.. I just couldn't.. I would sit at my desk an shovel the papers around me. I could cut into something only to not get anywhere with it. I questioned everything I did.. Still do.. And I felt really sad about it.. beause this is my lifestyle. This is what I love to do. So I cut myself away from everything scrapbooking as well.. I haven't been visiting loads of blogs, keeping up on facebook. Just went to my desk to work, turned of the lights and left it like it was at night.

I push myself to make something now.. Even though I know it's not amazing or it isn't the best I've ever made.. But just to make something and maybe it will come back to my finger tips. So I've made something small today.. It's for the new Scrapberry's challenge this month and it's all about Kids. You an make a card for small friend, scrapbook with kids or make something for a kid like I did.

I made this little notebook for my son to practice his ABC's. He just started 1grade in August.

I even covered a pencil with the same paper as the book. I've used the "Forest Friends" collection from Scrapberry's on my little notebook here. Hopefully my son with like it to..

If you managed to read my rantings on the top, I would like to thank you for it. I'm not fully back I would say.. but I've made something now.. More than I have in ages.. Thank you so much for reading this and stopping by!

Hugs to all!

4 kommentarer:

Valia Katzaki sa...

You are an amazing artist and I love you! I'm sending hugs! Lovely notebook!

Olga Kolov sa...

Yasmin! I'm so sad to hear it :( I'm sure your mojo come back! It happend time to time.. By me too.. Hugs!!!!!!

Olga

Linn sa...

♥♥♥♥♥ I know the feeling Yasmin. We can be the worst bullies to ourselves. The inner critic always works either in the past or the future. It is about what it should be or should have been. It blocks the knowledge and the depth of knowingness...that it is enough. That every step in the creative process has to be as it is... it is like stepping stones. Or like a staircase. If we only see one step as the most important step, we do not see the bigger picture. Going through tough periods in life have truly made me a more brave "artist". Because even though we do this for fun it is also brave of us ♥ We are kinda vulnerable sitting/standing facing a new project. It is all up to us.... and than to dare trust our own process, our own creative knowingness... is not easy. The inner critic wants to have a say too. But have you noticed at least I have. My inner critic is never present when I really create from deep within. That is when I am most happy with what I have created.

Because it comes from a space of harmony, balance and acceptance for what is right there in the moment. It is not about being more or less than it is in that moment. Not putting conditions on it or expectations... Also that there are no mistakes really. I think in my creative space it is really where I find balance when life gets "rough". But sometimes life is so painful it is kinda scary to let go of the "control" when creating. Then it is easier to listen to the critic instead of feeling what is alive inside right then and there...

I adore your sweet notebook. So cool!!

♥try not to be so hard on yourself (easier said then done I know) but be kind to yourself ♥ You are such an inspiration!

mosia m. sa...

Yasmin, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. And I hope you'll be ok, your family and especially your son.
I hope that with this little piece of art you'll start creating more and more as you used to - I'm waiting for it <3
And I hope you'll be back, sooner or later but you'll back.

Take care Yasmin.
Hugs!